The Basic Things You Need To Know About Peforming Funerals
This paper discusses some unbelievably essential guidelines along with ideas for how you can perform any memorial service. This discussion will hand you several useful hints to assist you through the process in the most professional way possible.
Death, for the majority of people, is a thing that’s, at best, an idea. It’s something that happens to other people, in other places, far from our daily lives. So, when death occurs around us, we’re likely to be caught off-guard. If you are a minister, you can't allow that to occur.
What would you do if some friend or loved one died and you're requested to perform the service? Would you give up that responsibility, simply because you are fearful about having not ever officiated at one and do not know what to say?
A lot of years ago, I became aware of this and I started to create some funeral and memorial services. I began calling funeral homes, where I discovered, among other things, that the funeral homes have a definite need for ministers to officiate non-denominational ceremonies.
The hardest parts for me had been combating the possible dread about the way I would feel about being around a dead body as well as thinking about what I was going to say at the service. Until the time of my first funeral service, I'd not ever as much as attended a service, let alone seen a corpse. The first thing you should realize is that a dead body looks a good deal like a wax dummy. Not even a little scary. This swiftly becomes obvious the spirit has left and whatever remains is merely an empty shell.
With regards to the ceremony itself, I not long after discovered that there's not much written for funeral ceremonies and virtually nothing at all available for ministers who desire to perform them. What clergy need are the right words to say, like are available for weddings. I did , after much searching, find 1 ceremony written by someone for a mainstream religion and one from a different non-denominational religion. Neither was quite the message I wanted to share, but it gave me a place to start. I then put together some books which include numerous pages of options to use for the different separate parts in the ceremony. The books are ‘Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’ and its sequel. These are available through the Universal Life Church Seminary store.
I open my services with a welcome message and a thank you on behalf of the family for their attendance Next, I begin to talk about the reason we're gathering – to celebrate the life of a person they have loved. I invite people to give a spiritual hello to the newly departed, while I lead everyone in a prayer. I share a bit about life and death and what we’d learned from the deceased in his or her time with us. Following that, I shift into the eulogy. I designed a standard opening to start the eulogy, then I fill the eulogy in with the details and stories I get from the grieving before the ceremony
I also usually include some biographical content during the beginning of the eulogy, which will remind everyone that the departed one had been both a member of the family or group yet was, an individual. I usually then talk about the value of reminiscing fondly about the deceased|stand up and share stories and encourage people to stand up and share. It is common for nobody to talk at the ceremony, but at times individuals will stand up if they are invited.
At this point, there is a lot of opportunity for variation. I take pleasure in singing or leading people in 'Amazing Grace' during memorial services. Not everyone is comfortable doing this, but there still may be space for a musical introduction. Just make sure that the funeral director is aware if a tape or CD needs to be played. They usually already know about this. A candle-lighting ceremony, some scripture, or reading of some selected poems might be put after the song. The ceremony frequently ends with a prayer and a benediction.
If the body is likely to become interred (buried), then I often go to the burial site (unless the memorial occurred there), and say some words of bible passages, the Lord's Prayer, plus the section regarding the interment - (giving the body back to the ground, and so on.) I do not necessarily conduct the ceremony in that order; I try to just allow the ceremony to flow as it should. It's good to be ready for anything.
I've discovered that memorial services are a tremendous place to teach, learn about myself and others better, as well as to heal their grief. One important issue to remember whenever you're performing the ceremony is that it really is imperative that you, as the officiant, reign in your personal feelings. There will likely be a whole lot of individuals around you in emotional discomfort as well as grief. It's not your job to match them. Rather,it’s your job to keep yourself a bit distant and be compassionate, yet still be strong, so that the grieving can lean on you as well as feel free to show
ULC ministers are not likely to preside over memorial services held in churches because the church’s own pastor would likely be involved and would certainly conduct the service.
KEEP IN MIND that there's no one special way to perform a memorial service. Not all memorials are religious in nature and the reverend should be prepared to provide a civil ceremony with no references to The Supreme Being. The family knows best what their beliefs are ahead of time and the beliefs of the deceased and those beliefs must be honored.
It is important during this time, to set everyone's minds at ease. The bereaved may well be experiencing grieving, uncertainty about the fate of their loved one after death, frustration, concerns, and so on. It's your responsibility to identify those emotions then do all you can to put them at ease.
It is a good idea to show up ready and every reverend should possess a copy of ‘Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’, as well as the sequel, ‘More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’, available through the resource link.
