This article shares with you tips on my best advice on how to conduct a wedding service, starting from the consultation to officiating the wedding itself. There are little hints and practical tips to assist you in being the best ceremony minister you can be. Whether It is your very first ceremony or your twentieth, it’s always healthy to seek out ways to improve.
In this paper I wish to share with you the essential issues involved in the legalization of a marriage (officiating weddings) so that a well-done as well as beautiful ceremony will be performed by the clergy-person, for the wedding couple.
Every state has its own rules about who can conduct weddings within its borders. If you're unsure, call the local county clerk where the wedding ceremony will happen and tell them that you're a newly ordained clergy-person and need to know whether or not you will need to register or follow any other procedures before conducting a wedding within that state. They should be in a position to assist you. If they don’t seem to have any idea at all, it's most likely a non-registration state. Please look up the marriage laws for your state to doublecheck.
THE CONSULTATION
Whenever I go to a wedding consultation, I often bring my big wedding binder. I do this for 2 reasons: First of all, if I've got my binder, then I have all of the information available to me to show the couple.
Secondly, I keep pictures within the binder, which I sprinkled throughout the binder, so the couples see different photos of me with many different couples. This reminds them that I’m absolutely a seasoned professional and then they can also see what I wear.
The way I do the first meeting is that first I explain to them on the phone a little about how I go through the ceremony. I explain to the couple that the ceremony will be broken down into parts and that they are always welcome to choose which ceremony parts they like, make the ceremony as quick or long, spiritual or non-religious, amusing or solemn as they want and are also encouraged to tailor it to please themselves. I also offer the couple a free copy of my workbook, The Ultimate Wedding and Ceremony Workbook for the 'Planning-Impaired' to aid them design their ceremony. All the ceremony sections are listed within the back of the book for them to pick from and there is list of processional examples to assist the wedding party with that aspect of the ceremony. The pages can be torn out.
I personally find it easier to let the bride and groom make the decision for themselves which words to be said at their ceremony. I have many times been asked whether the couple wrote the ceremony themselves, because the ceremony so accurately expressed who they seemed to be as a couple. Also, by offering them a copy of the aforementioned book, I'm also providing them a multitude of planning help and the ability to make any changes necessary to the ceremony themselves. This saves me a great deal of work and puts back the control into the hands of your couple.
Having the book has made my life much more convenient because now I just show them the parts, hand them the book then encourage them to produce the ceremony that best expresses their feelings for one another.
When I meet with the couple, I review with them my binder, explain each and every of the parts, jot down the specifics of their big day on the worksheet and get a deposit. (This, naturally, is only after I have asked them if they have any questions and whether they’ve decided. A deposit assures me that should it happen that the wedding becomes called off, or if they are not really serious, my time was not for naught, and also the workbook was covered for. The deposit also guarantees the couple the time-slot of their wedding is guaranteed.
The Ceremony Itself
During the service itself, I make sure to keep the groom’s full attention until finally the the beautiful bride is at the beginning of the aisle to walk down. He’s not permitted to turn to look at her till then. After I gesture that everyone to stand up, blocking the groom's view we all get to enjoy the expression on the groom’s face when first he sees his bride in her dress for the very first time.
I ask the nervous couple to turn to and look at each other and take hands for the service. A single unbelievably important matter is: Remember to ask or gesture to the guests to please take a seat once the service has started. Or at the least gesture.
Sign the wedding license either directly before or immediately following the service and be sure have the Best Man and Maid of Honor sign it. Put it back inside the envelope then make certain the mother of the bride, maid of honor, or at the least 2 responsible people who are part of the wedding party are told the place you left it. You may put it in the mail yourself, of course, if it’s already filled out on their end, but they are seldom ready, so I give it back for them to file.
Your title for the paperwork is 'reverend' and I usually write ‘non-denom’ for question of my denomination. This makes it easier and nobody has ever questioned it. Extremely essential: Don’t Cross Anything Out! Whatever you put is what needs to stay there, otherwise, you've got to bear the cost of a replacement license.
I used to bring my own camera to every service I did to be sure I’d received a picture of me together with the newlyweds, but as soon as you've a good amount of snapshots, it is not necessary. Do make it a point to get in a picture with the couple right at the beginning of photo session.
The most essential thing of all though, is to have a great time carrying out the wedding. Show them your pearly whites when you’re officiating the ceremony and revel in the joy of your glowing couple on their most special day!
Please look through our store to see our complete selection. Whether you are becoming a minister to perform one wedding or you'd like to start a wedding ministry, we have just what you need. Our Wedding Officiant Training Pack will provide you with all the materials you need to start you on your way. We also offer exceptional materials to aide you in your quest for knowledge, your quest for credibility, and your goal of discovering and following your spiritual path. We welcome you into the ULC community and ask only that you follow the Universal Life Church's two tenets: To Do That Which is Right (as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others) and to allow for the Freedom of Religion.
If there is anything I can do to help you along your spiritual (or business) path, please don't hesitate to ask.
Sincerely,
Rev. Amy Long amy@ulcseminary.org The real ULC International Headquarter's address is: 601 Third St. Modesto, CA 95351. (209) 527-8111. Their fax number is (209) 527-8116. Their site is www.ulchq.com
